The Legendary Black Insanity
by Uni Shall Not Sink
Summary: Eventually, all members of the Black family go insane, and Orion Black wasn't a exception to this rule at all.


**The Legendary Black Insanity**

The house of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place seemed to be even eerier than it normally was, particularly as the darkest of the night had fallen. Orion began to make his way downstairs. The man had made a habit of waking up in the middle of the night and he would always go down into the kitchens and get himself something to eat. It was the year 1979 and his wife, Walburga, had died just days before, making him the only one left in the house and leaving him as the last of the Blacks, except for their old house elf, Kreacher.

His youngest son had passed on just before his mother, Orion's wife, Walburga. He had died at the hands of the Dark Lord which officially meant the Black family would die out. After all, his siblings only had three daughters, all of whom were long married by now and as for Orion, well, his other son wouldn't come back if Orion himself got down on his knees, while begging and pleading him to. Not that Orion would ever deign to perform such a demeaning action.

He realized that having the house to himself was actually quite lonesome and bothersome, especially when that accursed house elf refused to take orders from him. Kreacher had always been Walburga Black's and would never take direct orders from anyone else in the house unless Walburga ordered the elf to do so. Orion found himself beginning to dislike the potrait of his late wife. Walburga had evidently left the hallway portrait as a keepsake, meaning it to be good company for her husband in his declining years.

Oh yes, Orion could talk to her, in a sense, but it would never be the same. The two could not carry out a proper conversation. Orion had to accept it. Walburga had left this world, and she was not coming back.

Although, Orion couldn't say he was very sad about this - after all, he had never did truly loved his wife. Besides, her portrait was even more insane than Walburga herself had been. The portrait tended to shriek about nothing at all, even more than the original.

All these events bring us to the real reason that Orion Black - newly a widower, and the father of sons either deceased or disowned and the last respectable member of the dying House of Black - found himself in the kitchen making his own sandwich and wallowing in a sea of self-pity and loneliness, lamenting his losses.

"Onion... Onion... Onion... Orion..." Orion muttered to himself as he carefully picked out the ingredients he wanted to add to his sandwich. He paused as he came across a beautifully ripe red onion. He took the onion out of the fridge and stared at it for a few minutes, contemplating whether or not he wanted to eat the beautiful onion.

He slowly cut the beautiful vegetable in half looking at all the different layers. "We're not all that different, you and me," he mumbled to the onion sadly, gently running his fingers over the peel contemplating his thoughts, searching forof what he really wanted to say.

"We both have layers that people just seem to overlook, huh? Your skin is not unlike mine, it's easy to rip through, to peel off, it's easy to wound… Though I do not understand why people call you a red onion when you are clearly the color purple."

Orion continued to gently stroke the layers of the onion, admiring its ridges and beautiful colouring.

"People think I'm like all other purebloods, they think I was the one who kicked Sirius out... When really, I want nothing more then my son to come home. I already lost one of my sons, I don't want to completely lose the other. I want to see Sirius one last time before I die. Is that too much to ask for?"

The onion continued to sit on the kitchen counter, silent, offering no response, no comforting words.

"But I guess that's just how life works, huh? I lost him the day his mother told him to get out... I lost him because I wasn't man enough, wasn't a good enough father, to say anything different. I just went along with her because I didn't want to deal with what would actually happen if I dared to defy her. I couldn't even defend my own son, and I paid the price."

"I didn't even want to marry her, you know. It's really sad because everyone thinks men have power but I don't... I didn't. It was always clear that Walburga ruled the roost in our house. My parents arranged our marriage simply because we were good friends. Friends, nothing else!" Orion spat, growing angry. "She's my cousin for Merlin's sake. We share the same blood. There are far more factors to be considered when it comes to blood purity."

Orion spoke the words, 'blood purity', in a mocking, disbelieving tone.

"I didn't want to raise my sons to believe in any of this blood purity stuff... When I learned Sirius was friends with a Mudborn I couldn't have been happier. I kept my true feelings a secret, of course. Then there was Regulus… I almost had a heart attack when I learnedd that he had taken the Dark Mark… I didn't want either of my sons to become a slave to such a monstrous master, but by the time he figured out that his hero, his master was a monster, it was too late. We weren't even graced with the honour of having his body returned to us." Orion laughed bitterly. "One of my dearest wishes is to be able to visit my son's grave. Oh, how the universe must laugh at my plight!"

"I think I would marry you in a heartbeat, dear onion. I have always wanted someone who understood me, who was more than just one layer, someone so perfectly complicated. Besides, I'm sure you have a sweet side." The phrase was somewhat suggestively said, and Orion began to come to his senses.

"I don't even know what's going on with me." Orion threw his hands into the air. "Here I was, making a sandwich for a midnight snack, and I've managed to turn it into a confessional session! Oh yes, and now I'm thinking about marrying an onion? What the hell is wrong with me? I didn't even notice the tears that were indefinably caused by the onion! The legendary and ancient Black insanity must finally be kicking in!"

Orion put the onion down on the counter, his attempts at making a sandwich long forgotten. He fled, hurrying on his way back upstairs, purposely avoiding his late wife's portrait. He fell onto his bed and not five minutes later he fell into a restless sleep, haunted by dreams about onions and wedding bells.

* * *

_Written For: _

_Quidditch; BellyBats; Orion Black_

_Character Diversity Boot Camp; Orion Black; Dark_

_Minor Character Boot Camp; Mud_

_Pairing Diversity Boot Camp; Orion/Onion; Eerie _

_Favorite Era; Ancient_

_Character Trait Boot Camp; silly!_


End file.
